Celebrity divorces gain national attention.  The nasty celebrity divorces that drag on for years are regular tabloid fodder (Think of Paul McCartney’s divorce).  As a nation, we collectively shake our heads as both sides leak out embarrassing information about the other party and spend hundreds of thousands of dollars on attorneys and experts.

What gains a less attention – but really deserves more attention – are the celebrities who choose divorce mediation to end their marriages with dignity – through mediation.  Mediation is a process wherein the parties work with a neutral party skilled in conflict resolution (a mediator) to resolve their disputes peacefully, less expensively, quickly and confidentially.  While Tiger Woods and Elin Nordegren certainly did not have a very dignified break up, they chose to mediate their divorce.  As a result, the divorce was quick (a matter of months), confidential and respectful.  Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman also mediated their divorce.  The public did not know anything negative about the couple until Tom Cruise decided to let his true self shine through many years later on Oprah’s show.  Both couples have children who now will be able to avoid the pain of warring parents.  By contrast, we all had a witnessed the impact of an ugly divorce on Ireland – the child caught between Alec Baldwin and Kim Basinger.

Other celebrity couples have utilized collaborative divorce, which is another alternative to a litigated divorce.   In collaborative divorces, the couples work together with either a team of professionals or specially trained attorneys to resolve their disputes.  In collaborative divorces, the parties vow to avoid court. Celebrities who utilized a collaborative model include Madonna and Guy Ritchie, Robin Williams and Marcia Garces Willes and Cameron Crowe and Nancy Wilson.

The ugliness of a litigated divorce can be just has traumatizing and damaging to non-celebrities and their loved ones.  The benefits of a mediated or collaborative divorce are just has poignant.  For example, while the National Inquirer may not highlight embarrassing and private facts about non-celebrities, divorce records are public.  More importantly, everyone, and not just celebrities, wants to preserve dignity, money, time, and their children’s well-being.

Alona M. Gottfried is a family law mediator and collaborative divorce attorney in Arizona.  If you have questions about mediation, she can be reached at: 480-998-1500 or alona@sglawaz.com.  This is a general interest article only and is not intended to be legal advice.  See a legal professional before making legal decisions. 

Simmons & Gottfried, PLLC
8160 E. Butherus Dr., Suite #7
Scottsdale, AZ 85260

I have practiced in the area of family law in Arizona for over 15 years. I have litigated divorce cases, mediated divorce cases and worked with a team in a collaborative divorce. This is Part 2 of this article, in which I discuss the five most common mistakes I have seen people make during the divorce process (and other family law matters). Click here to see Part 1.

3. Failing To Realize That, In Litigation, Your Spouse Will Make Sure Anything You Say Or Do Will Be Held Against You. Everyone knows that litigated divorces can get nasty (think “War of the Roses”). However, few people are prepared for the pure ugliness of litigation. People:

a. Tape conversations to use against the other party;

b. Get Orders of Protection against the other party simply to remove that person from the house or to make them look bad;

c. Rally their spouse’s friends, family and employer against them;

d. Write horrible and sometimes un-provable things about the other parent in documents filed with the Court (making them public records).

The result of such litigation can be a severely damaged reputation and tens of thousands of dollars spent on attorney’s fees and expert fees trying to dispute the allegations. Once that course of conduct is started, it is hard to stop. It is best to start the process in a neutral, calm and peaceful environment, like mediation, before things get out of control.

4. Refusing To Get Advice From Other Professionals. Divorces have tax ramifications. Neither an attorney nor a mediator can give tax advice. Only an accountant or tax specialist may do so. Other professional may also provide important advice during a divorce. For example, a child specialist can help parties figure out what is best for the children; a financial planner can help determine one’s needs after a divorce; a real estate expert can advise parties what to do with, say, a house with negative equity; and a lawyer can help a party phrase terms of an agreement to protect rights. While one does not have to hire any expert, a mediator can help parties find the professional advice they want.

5. Believing That Contested, Litigated Divorces Are The Only Option. Many people do not know that mediation or a collaborative divorce are options – they think they have to “lawyer up” and fight if there is conflict. The result is that many people have a much more difficult and expensive divorce than necessary and are left with unfavorable orders that could have been avoided. Litigated outcomes are inherently uncertain. Before deciding on a course of action, it is best to sit down with a professional who knows about litigation, mediation and collaborative divorce, so that one can make an educated decision about which course of action is best.

Alona M. Gottfried is a family law mediator, collaborative divorce attorney and litigation attorney in Arizona. If you have questions about divorce/family law options, she can be reached at: 480-998-1500 or alona@sglawaz.com. This is a general interest article only and is not intended to be legal advice. See a legal professional before making legal decisions.

Simmons & Gottfried, PLLC

8160 E. Butherus Dr., Suite #7

Scottsdale, AZ 85260

On March 27, 2011, someone wrote in to Dear Abby explaining that he wanted to mediate his divorce, and his wife told him if he wanted a divorce, he would need to get a lawyer.  Abby, in her infinite wisdom responded:

I have seen both kinds of divorces — one in which the warring spouses spent so much money in litigation there was little left for each of them when it was over; and the other, in which the couple agreed their marriage was broken beyond repair and arranged their divorce with as little cost as possible. I don’t have to tell you which people are doing well now. So clip this and share it with your wife.

Abby gave great advice.  As both an attorney and a mediator, I have had a first row seat to both the most cordial divorces and the most contentious ones.  In mediation, the parties work together to amicably resolve the issues.  While divorce is never emotionally painless, the mediation process creates an atmosphere that facilitates successful resolutions with as much positive feelings as possible.  I have witnessed more than one “high-five” at the end of a successful mediation, as well as smiles and even laughter during mediation.  Divorces do not have to be horrible.

By contrast, I have seen how litigated divorces can destroy people and children.  I have seen each party spend over $50,000.00 on fees and costs related to the divorce in six months.  I have seen people’s lives be consumed by the divorce for over a year (and for many years after the divorce).  I have seen children become the biggest victims of their parents’ fighting.

Mediation is the sane and healthy way to resolve family law disputes.  Of course, both parties have to agree to it.  If you would like to mediate your dispute, and the other party is resistant, in the wise words of Abby, “clip this and share it…”

Alona M. Gottfried is a family law mediator and attorney in Arizona.  If you have questions about mediation, she can be reached at: 480-998-1500 or alona@sglawaz.com.  This is a general interest article only and is not intended to be legal advice.  See a legal professional before making legal decisions.

Simmons & Gottfried, PLLC
8160 E. Butherus Dr., Suite #7
Scottsdale, AZ 85260

(480) 998-1500

This Article is part of a two part series describing the process when I mediate a divorce matter in Arizona.  The process is similar for other mediated family law cases where documents need to be filed with the Court.  The filing fees will be different depending on the type of matter.  Where filing documents with the Court is unnecessary, only steps 1-3 are utilized. Link to Part 2

1.     The process starts when you contact my office to schedule a complimentary consultation.  If you and your spouse know that you want to mediate and do not have any questions, you can skip this step and simply call my office to schedule a mediation.  At the consultation, I will tell you about the mediation process and answer any questions you have about mediation.  You may attend this mediation consultation with your spouse or separately.  We can schedule the mediation at this time.

2.     Prior to the mediation, I will send you and your spouse a Confidentiality Agreement and an Agreement to Mediate to review.  You do not need to sign these documents before the mediation.  I will also send you and your spouse a memorandum to complete, listing assets and debts and other necessary information.  You can complete this memorandum with your spouse or separately.  I ask that you return the memorandum one day before the mediation.  The memorandum is helpful, but not mandatory.  Everything I send you will be sent via email if you are both comfortable with email.

3.     The next step is the mediation.  The length of the mediation and the number of sessions you have is dependent on your needs and comfort level.  Some people choose to and are able to have their mediation completed in one session.  We begin the mediation session by signing the Confidentiality Agreement and Agreement to Mediate.  We then begin working through the issues.  Usually when children are involved, we address custody and parental access first.  At the end of the mediation session, I will have written up any agreements, which you and your spouse are free to sign at that time or later.  Once both of your sign the agreement, it is binding.

Please read part two of this article to learn more about the mediation process.

Alona M. Gottfried is a family law mediator and attorney in Arizona.  If you have questions about mediation, she can be reached at: 480-998-1500 or alona@sglawaz.com.  This is a general interest article only and is not intended to be legal advice.  See a legal professional before making legal decisions.

Simmons & Gottfried, PLLC
8160 E. Butherus Dr., Suite #7
Scottsdale, AZ 85260

The Arizona legislature is considering significant changes to the state’s child custody laws.  First, the proposed new law essentially creates a presumption that parents will be awarded joint custody (meaning that the parties are to make important decisions for the children together).  Arizona Revised Statute (“A.R.S.”) § 25-403(C) would state:  “In a disputed family law matter involving children, if both parents are found to be fit or capable to be a parent, the court shall not award sole custody to one parent unless both parents agree.”

A.R.S. § 25-408(A) would be amended to state that if a parent petitions the court claiming that the other party’s “parenting time would endanger seriously the child’s physical, mental, moral or emotional health” and the court denies the petition, the petitioning parent must “immediately pay to the other parent all attorney fees and court costs associated with defending against those allegations.”

This law, if passed, should create some concern as it is likely to have a chilling effect on reporting parental unfitness to the Court.  AZ Parents will be afraid to allege the other parent is unfit or incapable of parenting because, if they are unable to convince the Court, they will have to pay attorney’s fees and costs.   As the Court’s primary concern in AZ child custody matters is the children’s best interests, the law should encourage reporting unfitness.  Of course, if a parent brings a claim in bad faith, that parent should be sanctioned.  But, does it make sense to sanction a parent who simply does not have sufficient evidence to convince the Court of unfitness?  Not every abusive parent leaves bruises.  Not every alcoholic parent passes out in public.  Abused individuals often do not contact the police or go to the doctor (which would create a record of abuse) because they are too afraid to do so.

Are there options to going to Court when you have concerns about the other parent’s fitness?  Mediation in Arizona is always an alternative.  In mediation, the parties can agree to protections for the children when a parent has real or alleged fitness issues.  For example, the parties can agree to drug or alcohol testing, counseling, supervised visits, or anger management classes as a condition to parental access.

Alona M. Gottfried is a family law mediator and attorney in Arizona.  If you have questions about mediation, she can be reached at: 480-998-1500 or alona@sglawaz.com.  This is a general interest article only and is not intended to be legal advice.  See a legal professional before making legal decisions.

Simmons & Gottfried, PLLC
8160 E. Butherus Dr., Suite #7
Scottsdale, AZ 85260

In Arizona, parties to a divorce, paternity or modification action are encouraged to reach agreements regarding their children.

The parties must first decide if they will have joint custody or one party has sole custody.  Custody is a function of decision-making.  Joint custodians make important decisions for the children (medical, educational, religious) together.

Parenting times means, not surprisingly, what days / times the children spend with both parents.  Parenting time includes a holiday and vacation schedule.

Where the parties have an agreement to exercise joint custody, they need to submit a Joint Custody Agreement.  This written agreement sets forth the terms discussed above, plus additional terms, including how the parties intend to resolve conflicts and how often the parties will get together to review the Agreement.  A Joint Custody Agreement can also address agreed-upon restrictions on the parties’ conduct.  For example, the parties can agree to terms like the following:

1.     The parties will not disparage the other parent to the children or allow third parties to do so.

2.     The parties agree to give the other parent the first right to watch the children if the other parent is available for four hours or more.

3.     The parties will allow unencumbered phone contact (or phone contact during certain hours).

Parents can tailor the agreement to best fit their needs and concerns.  Joint Custody Agreements are just as binding on the parties as any other orders if incorporated into a Decree or other order.

Parents can use a family law mediator to help them:  (1) reach agreements as to custody and access; and (2) draft the Joint Custody Agreement.  The mediator can guide the parties through the various issues they should address in the Agreement and use conflict resolution skills where there is a dispute.  Parents who use a mediator for this purpose generally leave the mediation session with a signed and binding Joint Custody Agreement.  The mediator can also help the parties resolve any other issue surrounding their legal action.

Alona M. Gottfried is a family law mediator and attorney in Arizona.  If you have questions about mediation, she can be reached at: 480-998-1500 or alona@sglawaz.com.  This is a general interest article only and is not intended to be legal advice.  See a legal professional before making legal decisions.

When you use Simmons & Gottfried, PLLC to mediate your dissolution or paternity action, the sequence of events is normally as follows:

Arizona Divorce

1.     The two parties can come in for a complimentary consultation.  They can ask any questions they have about the process and select a mutually agreeable mediation appointment.  Simmons & Gottfried, PLLC provides after-hours mediations where the parties’ schedules require it.

2.     Prior to the first session, the mediator e-mails (or mails) the parties the Confidentiality Agreement and the Agreement to Mediate to review in advance.  The mediator also sends an Intake Form for the parties to complete together or separately.  This form helps the parties and the mediator to define the issues and gather necessary information prior to the first session.

3.     Mediation is completed in one session or multiple sessions, depending on the needs and desires of the parties.  The length of each session also depends on the needs of the parties.  At the mediation, the parties work with the mediator to identify and resolve the issues.  Where custody and access are at issue, the parties generally complete a Joint Custody Agreement during the mediation.  Other resolved issues are written up as a contract.  The parties can sign the agreements during the mediation session, or they can sign it at a later date.  The parties pay for the time used, plus a $50.00 administrative fee, at the end of the first mediation session.  The parties pay for any subsequent mediation session at the end of those sessions.  The parties pay for any other services at the time requested.  The parties pay for their own Court filing fees.

4.     The parties can use the mediator simply to help them reach agreements or to also help guide them through the entire Court process.  While the mediator cannot provide legal advice, the mediator can help the parties complete and file the necessary paperwork with the Court (Ex.  Petition for Dissolution of Marriage, plus the supporting documents; Acceptance of Service; Decree of Dissolution of Marriage; Join Custody Agreement; Child Support Worksheet). The mediator also watches the parties’ deadlines.  Note:  the mediator will not get copies of any documents sent by the Court, so the parties need to inform the mediator if they receive anything.  The mediator will help the parties address any such notices or orders.

5.     The process is complete when either:  (1) the last mediation session ends; (1) the parties sign the mediated agreement; and/or (2) the parties receive the orders from the Court, if the parties requested assistance with same.

Alona M. Gottfried is a family law mediator and attorney in Arizona.  If you have questions about mediation, she can be reached at: 480-998-1500 or alona@sglawaz.com.  This is a general interest article only and is not intended to be legal advice.  See a legal professional before making legal decisions.

Simmons & Gottfried, PLLC
8160 E. Butherus Dr., Suite #7
Scottsdale, AZ 85260

Scottsdale Mediation

MEDIATION PRACTICE MOVES TO NORTH SCOTTSDALE

Scottsdale Mediation Scottsdale, Arizona now has a new mediation firm.  Simmons & Gottfried, PLLC (featured in AZMediator.com) has moved to a new office in the Scottsdale Airpark.  The office is conveniently located minutes off the 101 and Raintree.  The address is:  8160 East Butherus Road, Suite 7, Scottsdale, AZ 85260.

Mediation in Scottsdale is a method to resolve disputes cooperatively, privately, quickly, inexpensively and out of Court.  Close to 90 percent of all Scottsdale mediations are successful.  If you have a conflict, consider mediation prior to instigating litigation.  If you are in litigation, consider going to mediation instead of trial.  If you are not sure mediation is right for you, please schedule a complimentary one-half hour consultation or visit:  AZMediator.com

Simmons & Gottfried, PLLC, a law and mediation firm, offers:

(1)  Family Law Mediation.  You can mediate such issues as: divorce actions, legal separation actions, paternity actions, grandparent’s rights actions, child support actions, custody             disputes and modification actions.

(2)  Business Mediation.  A business can use mediation to dissolve or create partnerships, to resolve contract disputes and to resolve disputes with other businesses.

(3)  Most Other Types Of Mediation. This includes employment disputes, real estate disputes, inter-family disputes, construction defect disputes and neighborhood disputes.

Scottsdale Mediators Alona M. Gottfried and Jared C. Simmons offer quality mediation in a comfortable environment.

Alona M. Gottfried and Jared C. Simmons are mediators and attorneys in Scottsdale Arizona.  If you have questions about mediation, they can be reached at: 480-998-1500, alona(at)sglawaz.com, or jared(at)sglawaz.com. This is a general interest article only and is not intended to be legal advice.  See a legal professional before making legal decisions.

If you are reading this article, you are likely contemplating or facing a divorce.  As a divorce attorney of almost 15 years and a long-term mediator, I am here to tell you

Arizona Divorce

that there are options on how you can process the divorce in Arizona.  Your choices will impact how long, expensive and stressful the process will be, as well as how much control you will have over the outcome.

In an Arizona divorce, either the parties or the Court will determine such issues as:  custody, parental access, child support, property division, debt division and spousal maintenance.  If the parties can reach an agreement, they decide the outcome of these issues.  If the parties cannot reach an agreement, the Court decides these issues after a trial.

Most people would agree that it is best for people to reach their own agreements.  That gives the parties control over what happens in their lives – to their finances, and their children, if children are involved.

One effective way to reach agreement is to mediate.  In mediation, the parties use a neutral third party (mediator) to help them reach binding agreements.  Mediation is successful at resolving disputes around 90 percent of the time.  The process is quick, confidential, and much less expensive and stressful than litigation.

Parties can also use the collaborative divorce process. This process entails using professionals (lawyers, counselors and financial specialists) to assist them in the divorce in a collaborative fashion.  The process also involves a commitment to not go to trial (you can opt out of the process, but you then cannot use the same professionals).

Of course, parties are free to litigate their divorce.  It is just a risky process that is sometimes quite expensive and stressful.  It can also be damaging to any children involved.  Litigation may be necessary where one spouse refuses the other options.  However, it is generally worth the effort to talk to your spouse about the other options.  You may be surprised at his/her willingness to participate in a process that offers a reasonable and effective alternative to the drama of divorce litigation.

Alona M. Gottfried is a family law mediator and attorney in Arizona.  She offers complimentary consultations regarding divorce options.  She can be reached at: 480-998-1500 or alona@sglawaz.com.  This is a general interest article only and is not intended to be legal advice.  See a legal professional before making legal decisions.

If you are reading this article, you are probably considering a divorce in Arizona or helping a loved one who is faced with one.  My purpose in writing articles is to let people know they have a choice in how they end their

Divorce in Arizona

marriage.  Many people assume that the only way to get divorced is to engage in an adversarial process.  That is not true.  While you can use the traditional litigation process, that is not the only option.

Traditional litigation involves one party filing a Petition for Dissolution and serving the other party with it.  The other party will then file a Response.  The parties then try to obtain information from each other using a process called “discovery.”  In addition, parties have a duty to disclose relevant information.  If the parties need temporary orders (orders until the trial takes place), there is a hearing.  If a party is not cooperating with discovery or is violating the law or Court orders, there may be additional hearings.  Experts may need to be hired for evaluations (If there is a custody dispute, there could be a custody evaluation by a psychologist.  If there is a dispute over the worth of assets, there could be appraisals or forensic accounting).  If the parties have attorneys, there is likely to be numerous letters going back and forth that often contain angry allegations.  Eventually, if there is no agreement, the parties go to trial, and a Judge does his/her best to make good decisions for the two parties regarding their children, property, debts and monetary needs.   As you can imagine, this is a process that can be expensive, time consuming, risky and very stressful.

Mediation is another option.  In mediation, the parties jointly select a mediator – a neutral third party trained in dispute resolution.  The mediator can help prepare all of the documents for the parties.  The mediator will help the parties discuss all of the issues in a relaxed setting, and the mediator will help the parties reach agreements on all issues.  The parties may choose to seek legal, accounting or other advice during the mediation process.  The mediator can provide referral sources.  Successful mediations – and most are successful – end with the submission of a Consent Decree.  Neither party has to physically go to Court.  The process is quick, confidential, less expensive, less stressful and much less risky.

Alona M. Gottfried is a divorce mediator and attorney in Arizona.  If you have questions about mediation, she can be reached at: 480-998-1500 or alona@sglawaz.com.  This is a general interest article only and is not intended to be legal advice.  See a legal professional before making legal decisions.